Another 5 am

I used to believe that 5 am was a lie. I had no positive proof that it existed. I ignored the testimonies of many well-intended (and sleep-deprived) witnesses. But I have experienced it, I think, multiple times within the past couple of years, as I've documented on this very blog.

I'm pretty sure it exists now. Funny how, when I speak of 5 am, it sounds as though I'm talking about the paranormal.

Aliens, UFOs, 5 am, what have you.

Really! Have you ever seen wackos on TV talking about how they saw an extraterrestrial? They seem like relatively well-adjusted rural or suburban people... jobs, families, the whole nine yards. They just have this little side of their souls that is convinced they saw an alien. And its a pretty disturbing shift when you see them shift from talking about anything else in life to talking about UFOs.

I think I resemble that phenomenon when talking about 5 am... the only difference is, everyone believes and agrees with me. Everyone. No exceptions.

Anyway, I experienced 5 am again today. My job had a Friday-morning golf outing fundraiser and we all had to be there at 6am. I set my alarm clock for, what I believe, is the earliest possible time that can be set on that particular clock, which, I believe, happens to be 5 am.

My eyes actually popped open before the alarm beeped. So, in my belief system, it was still Thursday. Anyway, I thought to myself, This isn't bad! I can catch a few more precious winks and I'll be pretty fresh once the alarm rings! I love that feeling!

Two seconds later... EEEEPPP, EEEEEP, EEEEEPP!!! It doesn't beep, by the way, it "eeeps". Beep would be too tolerable.

I said, out loud, and very loudly, Oh no! Those extra winks had just gotten abducted by an annoying mechanism that haunts and tortures human souls on a morning-by-morning basis.

I actually made it through the day pretty well, and (working my way backwards) I went to the gym after work. I remember eating a tuna sandwich for lunch, driving a golf cart all morning to pass out beer to terrible but rich golfers, and I vaguely recall arriving at the clubhouse at around 6 am...

But I can't remember how I got there.

I guess that activities like golf and fishing are really good to do at obscenely early times of day. I've never cared enough to ask why. As far as I'm concerned, any fish that bites best at that early in the morning isn't worth frying. High-noon fish taste just fine.

So here I am, 11pm and about to go to sleep, and I survived yet another 5 am experience. I handled it so well, I'm actually going to strive to hit the ground running on Saturday and make the most of the day, and, for the first time on a Saturday, I'm going to even set the alarm clock...

for 5 pm.