I am second...

I came across a website this morning that really humbled and ministered to me. Check out www.iamsecond.com. It's full of testimonials from people, some celebrity, some not, of how Jesus became first in their lives, leaving them in second place.

There's Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford, two phenomenal college quarterbacks, likely to earn millions in the NFL very soon. There's Mike Huckabee, who made a run at the White House last year. There's Brian Welch, who was a rock star in the band Korn before quitting to dedicate his life to Jesus. There are two NFL head coaches, two pastors, an American Idol finalist, a sex addict, a movie and TV star, a struggle with missing father issues, a struggle with childhood fame, a struggle with being the perfect pastor, a struggle with infidelity, a struggle with an eating disorder...

You get the picture.

I can identify with a lot of the stories. I still push myself beyond the limits with many things. I work to be the best, and to create the best. I play guitar to be the best, to sustain this silly dream of being a rock star. I lift weights at the gym to challenge every muscle beyond what they can do. I am dedicated, and sometimes dedication can drive me past God as a priority in my life. I spend too much time trying to be first.

Every story on the website ends with the person giving his or her name, then saying, "... and I am second."

The guy from Korn is a perfect example of how God designed us to return to him. He openly confessed that he pushed so hard to attain this dream of being a rock star. The dream actually became reality, and it wasn't good enough. In a effort to find that "something" in life that brings true fulfillment, he tried music, sex, drugs, more drugs, even more drugs, partying, got married, had a kid...

Nothing.

Every euphoric feeling would eventually abandon him.

Just before a drug binge, he prayed and asked God to give him strength to kick the drug habit. Long story short, God did, and the rock star known as "Head" quit Korn that day. And peace and joy entered into his life, and God's joy does not abandon him.

If there's one story that gets me every time, it's Josh Hamilton's. Iamsecond.com does a decent job of giving you the story, but there's more to it. It's still worth a look.

A stud baseball player, drafted #1 at age 18, in the major leagues, and then booze and drugs destroy him and his marriage. He loses everything, gets kicked out of his home, ends up living with his grandmother at age 25. He hits rock bottom, turns to Christ, cleans up, returns to the majors, and is an all-star.

I'll never forget Josh's show at the 2008 home run derby during all-star weekend. Josh pounded out a record 27 home runs in the first round, and not one of them were cheap. 500 feet or more, almost every one of them. He had everyone polarized, and he was only two years removed at that time from cleaning up his life and returning to the league after a lengthy hiatus.

After his round finally ended, I'll never, ever forget the interview that ESPN did with him on the field. The reporter asked him what was going through his mind while he was hitting all those home runs. He had this look of disbelief on his face. He simply said that it's amazing what the Lord had done in his life up to that point. I don't even remember exactly what he said. But I'll never, ever forget the look on his face.

It was the look that says, I can't believe I was so low, and God took me so high. I was such a mess, and God did all of the cleaning. There's no way I deserve any of this, but it's all so GOOD!

I can identify with it because I was a mess. I had different, but very high, hopes and dreams at one point, and I was screwing them all up in every way, too. I was so low, and God showed up. In the same way as Josh Hamilton, within two years, all I could do was shake my head and struggle to find the words to describe it all. Being second actually isn't bad at all, when God is first.

The sad part is that, early in 2009, Josh relapsed briefly. Basically, he escaped all of his accountabilities and partied one night, and some pretty nasty photos were taken of him. He repented right away.

It goes to show that you can slip and put yourself first again. I've done that. For the past nine months, I've essentially been in "first place recovery". Every time I say something I shouldn't say, do something I shouldn't do, or strive to earn everyone's adoration and praise for flashy guitar playing or big muscles or fancy displays of humor or excellence at my job, I elevate myself into first.

May this be my bold declaration of where I stand, of where my loyalties lie, and of what my life is all about...

My name is Joe Misek, and I am second.