Salt and Peppers

I am going to try my hardest to be optimistic about the Chicago Bears' free agent signings. They gave Julius Peppers a bazillion dollars to do primarily one job, which is to blow up the other team's quarterback. They gave Chester Taylor slightly less than a bazillion to pound out yardage, and a tight end named Brandon Manumalawhoever a few million to blow up dudes that are going to try to blow up Jay Cutler.

Each of them are 30 or older... now, I'm thrilled that dudes older than I am are still getting signed to bazillion dollar deals. There's still hope for me.

But this isn't about me.

The Bears don't have a great history with flashy free agent signings, particularly at big stat skill positions like defensive end, running back, or quarterback (read: Jay Cutler in 2009). But of course, the Bears don't have very many draft picks in 2010 because they mortgaged most of them to get Cutler a year ago. Thus, we get Peppers.

I am hoping for the best, but history says that such high expectations for huge free agent signings are a bit unrealistic. So, here are my predictions for Peppers:

9.5 sacks
12 games played
38 tackles
2 forced fumbles
a bazillion dollars
one Cadillac Escalade
one Chicago team continuing to swim in the sea of mediocrity.