My divorce

Relax. It's not what you think.

I've ended my relationship with the Chicago Cubs, as of about a month ago. I've had it with this 9 trillion dollar sorry excuse of a team playing manure-like baseball befitting of a ragtag minor league team. To call the payroll of this team albatross would be too kind and, frankly, not a sufficiently-extreme metaphor.

We have thrown enough money at Carlos Zambrano to fund the research of a cure for his brain damage. And he underperformed, threw a fit, went to the bullpen, threw another fit, went on the disabled list due to craziness, and then decided to pitch effectively after the season was long lost. This hothead is certifiable, overweight, undisciplined in the offseason, chaotic during the season, and prefer to HIT!!!

We have thrown enough money at Alphonso Soriano to feed EVERYONE ON EARTH plentifully. And yet this guy is nowhere near the megastar he was signed to be. He has at least two annual injuries early in every season, the early season slump that is justified by the fact that he's still "working the kinks out" (which most pros do during spring training), then he gets hot long after the season is lost and his stats are nicely padded to produce a respectable, yet underachieving, season of numbers.

We have thrown enough money at Kosuke Fukodome to buy him the Japanese baseball team he clearly wishes to be playing for. And yet, after multiple seasons with this team, he still hasn't settled into a good fit in the batting order or even a role on this team. His contributions early in each season, and late, which have tended to be good, have been dwarfed by the lack of contribution when it really has been needed for the Cubs... in the middle 80% of the season.

We have thrown enough money at Ryan Dempster to fund the production of a time machine back to his first season as the Cubs starter. Yet we've been categorically fooled into thinking that he is an ace-in-waiting and a dependable second or third starter on a championship team.

I appreciate Marlon Byrd as the one having the most successful season. First of all, I can't believe I just wrote that. But we the people of Chicago need more than a breakout season from Marlon Byrd. We need the offensive line to get fixed, for the defense to get healthy, for Jay Cutler to stop throwing the ball at the wrong jerseys.........

Oh, Lord, my blog posts of venting and frustration are all starting to blend together. Get me outta here!!!!!!!!!!